My writing is quite sporadic I have to be honest.
Sometimes I feel like sharing my insights and most times I don't but I was having a conversation the other day with God and I recognised that writing for people's approval doesn't really do me much good. I can't be afraid of people's opinions all the time- after all, I have plenty of my own and they're not always positive...
I'm not an artist or a musician, a mathematician or a scientist but I know I love to write. And for this reason I'm aware it's where I struggle most, that's a good tip for anyone reading this- tried and tested; the area you struggle in the most is a good indication of where you'll prosper the most but it tends to get down trodden and forgotten sometimes, amidst us tending to those wounds from the assaults we encounter going through that beautiful thing we call life. Is anything in this world worth anything ever easy?
I used to write with the intention of trying to come across literate, well spoken and I'd be so annoyed if I'd spotted any spelling mistakes. In doing this I stunted my gift's growth because guess what I'm all of those things. I am literate and well spoken and I'm also human so I'm bound to get it wrong sometimes.
Any who, my qualm today I guess is what this world deems as attractive. I sometimes wish everyone would wake the hell up! Literally- including myself. The constant brainwashing in media and retail is shocking. One of my lecturers told me once that there is no such thing as conspiracy if the plan is blatantly obvious. You either choose to acknowledge what's going on or you don't... Some people will go crazy with paranoia others will just get high and drunk- ignorance is bliss and all that.
I was having a conversation with my friend the other day about lack of soul in music these days. As I stated above I'm no musician so in relation to the industry these days I guess this makes me more qualified than most to share with you whats hot and what's not.
Music has lost it's soul- and I'm sure there's been plenty of conversations had about this but I thought I'd throw in my 2pennies worth anyway. I actually remember the days when it used to be an art... There was soul, passion and truth and most importantly talent. Regardless of what genre it was- it was organic and unique to every artist. These days this trash gets on my damn nerves. Pure noise and so repetitive it's unreal and that's even before I've listened to the words, and then I try to listen to the lyrics over that annoying melody and realise why it's drowned out. It's sad. I have to admit the most annoying is when I find myself humming away to it whilst bopping my head a couple of hours later- grrrr! Where's all the Lauren Hills at?? 'mixing hip hop with scripture' Jill Scott, even Mariah's gone missing for a minute...? I suppose they got a life...:-)
I'm expected to buy into an artist as a product rather than a musician- no thanks. I feel kind of sorry for them really, all that money and no identity. All that fame and no peace? Yes the fleshy part of me could do with a few thousand thrown my way but really at the cost of my soul?
What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? Matt 16:26
I'm totally baffled the way the world is completely warped and no one bats an eye lid. Everyone's completely comfortable in this hyper reality, in the rat race, chasing the money, it's enough to make me feel claustrophobic in the middle of an empty field. Then we get onto to the real reason I was inspired to write this blog. I met up with an old flame the other day and I was so excited at the way our meeting went. The flesh (a term used for emotions and the human body and its physical or sensual nature as opposed to the soul or spirit related- dictionary.com) was loving it- sparks were flying and all sorts. For a while I glimpsed internal changes- deep ones and it made me really excited (oh naive little me)
When it came down to the crunch he fell so far short I couldn't decide whether I was happy I'd found out now or disappointed at the fact that the things I'd found so unattractive in him were things that could only be turned around by God himself. Looks wise- on point! Swag wise 'ding ding ding' mind, spirit and soul wise... 'Oh Lord why??'
I recall being so angry with God but thankful at the same time. Thankful my mindset had been renewed to a place where all the biceps and bling in the world couldn't do it for me if there was no substantial strength in a man's mind and courage in his heart. When I speak about this strength it takes me back to an amazing book called Captivating- the first passive man was Adam. As if standing there and watching Eve blatantly disobeying his creator isn't bad enough- he had to partake in the act and have the cheek thousands of years later to blame it all on her. How about you be the man??? How about you take authority? How about you use the strength and heart God put in you for once? It talks in the book about how when Eve needed Adam to 'be the man' the most he ducked out and failed miserably - remind you of anyone? And guys wonder why women are the way they are today- secretly or not so secretly they want you to take control- they want you to be the hero, the rescuer, the prince on the white horse, but frankly in this day and age if I didn't know God's promises for me and I was waiting around for that to happen who knows what state I'd end up in.
My friend always takes the mick out of broken girls. Girls that sleep around and who pursue any man that walks by, he makes poems and songs exposing this un natural behaviour. I must admit I'm not all for the way he does it sometimes but it is interesting to see how women have come to the understanding that they must take control because if they don't they'll be left out in the cold- alone, the sad irony is, is the men they're chasing will never take control in the way they need them too- like I said spending all day in the gym training and working on your muscles by no means guarantees a strong mind and courageous and good heart.
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder- I suppose my point is is that I'm glad God is working on me. I used to love that repetitive nonsense they called music that had no meaning and lacked heart- I used to also be attracted to the same type of guy who had a weak mind but a winning smile. I guess that's all changing- so where does that leave me in terms of life long companionship - I can answer that R.I.C.H (Resting in Christ's hands)
Yours truly
Love
