He's soooooo into me!

This is easily one of my favourite clips taken from the 2009 film 'He's not that into you'. As a spin off inspired by the infamous 'Sex and the City' series, this particular clip see's Mary Harris (Drew Barrymore) complaining to her friend about the endless technological advances (once upon a time developed to make communication more straightforward) acting as tedious barriers between 21st century recipients.

This film clip sprang to mind as the novelty of purchasing my new 'smarty pants' phone quickly wore off. With an app for everything and I mean EVERYTHING I suddenly had this feeling dawn on me that I was becoming way too accessible too quickly. As each app downloaded I realised as well as being able to make a simple phone call, if that didn't suffice I could think up another 15 ways - at least, that someone could contact me! Then my brain cells started to work over time in this female mind of mine, that actually, it kind of boarder lines rude if someone DOESN'T contact me (and of course visa-versa). Not only do we not have the excuse of not picking up the phone to call if for some reason we don't have a person's number or should we run out of minutes to call with, but it's now expected that we must at least have their Facebook, or maybe their Twitter, what about their Skype? LinkedIn? Email? Instagram? Kick? Ping chat? you get my point, the list goes on...

Recently, my two other friends and I found ourselves in a similar predicament. With all this fancy technology out there its a shame there hasn't been an app developed that you can download called GET HIM TO CALL ME! OR TEXT ME BACK DAMN IT! (okay maybe not the damn it part) but after receiving the revelation of how important it is for a lady to let a gentlemen pursue her as part of the wooing process for him to win her heart and hand in marriage, this whole waiting game had become a tad annoying. So he's not texting or calling or 'liking' your statuses...girl have I got news for you- yup guess what, he's a human, a male one at that and he WILL disappoint. Just like everything else in this world that has the potential to stamp all over your over rated expectations, shatter dreams or just simply frustrate your patience- men, friends, children, money, cars and health do too! They're temporal and have the ability to malfunction from time to time (1 John 2:17)

So once I understood this I can only share with you what I did next. I reminded myself of God's heart towards me, and that I should trust His everlasting, unfailing, infallible love that would never desire to hurt me. With a heart that will never change towards me and a love that is never based on unattainable expectations, performance or perfection by the world's standards I was faced with two options a) I could take matters into my own hands, throw a tantrum because I don't understand, become impatient and remain self absorbed and selfish or b) Trust that God was doing His thing and kick back and enjoy the ride.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38

It says it right there that God's love for me isn't going anywhere.

A good friend once told me that you can not put your trust in anyone's heart towards you or even the external situations and circumstances that you find yourself in in this world. However, you can always trust God's heart towards you. Meaning, regardless of whether you're having a good day or a bad day or if you find yourself in difficulty in your friendships or relationships, His heart towards you is not phased by any of these things. You are never left alone in the midst of anything He will never punish you or leave you, which I guess is reassuring when we examine ourselves first and foremost and then we look around at the self absorbed, self obsessed, self gratifying world we live in. A never ending love without condition or clause is gladly welcomed, like a fresh running stream in a sandy dry desert.

How my friend's and I desired for the men in our lives to pursue us that is how God pursues us. We felt there was plenty of opportunity for them to make the effort and in them not contacting us we took it as they don't care. We felt taken for granted and rejected. Imagine how God feels. I sometimes wonder if He feels rejected when contacting Him doesn't even require an electronic device. Just a few words... prayer can be done in private or said out loud. Prayer is how we communicate and fellowship with God and we're permitted to call on him at anytime but how often do we make use of this privilege and when we do how do we use it? Do we use it to glorify and praise him for all that we have or do we use it to make requests and beg for those things that we don't have and believe we are entitled to?

The way a lady would like a man to pursue her is much like how God pursues us. In an intensely personal and unyielding way, creatively and gently with an abundance of supernatural patience. Whilst we're spending our time desiring the things of this world that will pass away, God is trying to get our attention and look for ways to please us and be close to us and we reject Him for things that will fail us??? He knows and carefully plans around where we are at in our lives and comes after us in a way that is incredibly bespoke to each and everyone of us. He is forgiving and merciful and also extremely humble. He knows that when we seek Him and accept Him everything else will work out effortlessly, yet he doesn't impose Himself on us, manipulate us or pressurise us.

I guess the bottom line is God will never miss your call, not reply to your text or never not like your status. You have his undivided attention whenever you choose to log in and message Him back.

UCB Word of the day

1) Lord, teach me to pray
2) Lord, teach me to pray

Faith is the substance of things hoped for...

'Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen...' Heb 11:1

Sister Act 2 is one of my favourite films. I played it repeatedly on VCR when I was young to the point my Nan feared the tape would snap and would hide it away.

It's only now I look back and realise how much I actually understood when I was younger.

Sister Act, for those of you who have never seen the film, is the ultimate 'feel good' movie. The only film that comes close to this, in my eyes is Coach Carter. Although I'm not much of a movie buff I will say that a lot of other films which have tried to run with it's formula haven't quite managed to pull it off, too much formula and not enough heart.

If someone asked me at 24, what it is that I enjoy about this film [Sister Act 2] I would probably say the narrative first and foremost. The story intrinsically shows the link between dreams and faith. It's beautifully based on biblical principals and delivered without blaspheming, offending or throwing Christianity needlessly into your face. It's an easy watch and is uplifting and inspiring, it does everything it needs to.

I do believe at 7 years of age this is something I understood without really articulating it to anyone.

This film clip in particular has popped into my head on more than one occasion recently as I've been really putting some serious thought into my writing. I've always dreamt of becoming a writer and hopefully doing it for a living one day but never really understood until recently that if that's what I really want then it's going to take time, discipline and practice and most importantly prayer. I heard a really good quote the other day that said 'Dreams without actions are just ideas...' and I'd really like this to become more than just a nice idea that I had when I was young.

In the film, Sister Mary Clarence (Whoopi Goldberg) speaks to Rita (Lauryn Hill) as she is drowning in frustration. She has a deep passion for music and singing is her gift but she sees no way of making the one thing she truly loves something that can help her 'make it in the real world.' With her Mom dead set against her dreams too Rita has developed despondent and bitter feelings towards any hope of singing ever becoming more than just a fantasy. Sister Mary Clarence goes out on a limb because she sees the potential in Rita- she sees the light. She encourages her in spite of her bad attitude and tough faced facade. She breaks through and encourages her through a story she read about being a writer.

I'm sure we can all relate. We all have dreams and a hope to make our mark on this world whatever our gifts are. As a child everything seems possible and that's because we try, we fail and we bounce back. And then try again! We're a lot more 'teachable' when we're younger, not taking correction as rejection but taking it as encouragement.

'If you wake up in the morning and you can't think of anything but singing first - you suppose to be a singer gurl!'

Let's be real

My writing is quite sporadic I have to be honest.
Sometimes I feel like sharing my insights and most times I don't but I was having a conversation the other day with God and I recognised that writing for people's approval doesn't really do me much good. I can't be afraid of people's opinions all the time- after all, I have plenty of my own and they're not always positive...

I'm not an artist or a musician, a mathematician or a scientist but I know I love to write. And for this reason I'm aware it's where I struggle most, that's a good tip for anyone reading this- tried and tested; the area you struggle in the most is a good indication of where you'll prosper the most but it tends to get down trodden and forgotten sometimes, amidst us tending to those wounds from the assaults we encounter going through that beautiful thing we call life. Is anything in this world worth anything ever easy?

I used to write with the intention of trying to come across literate, well spoken and I'd be so annoyed if I'd spotted any spelling mistakes. In doing this I stunted my gift's growth because guess what I'm all of those things. I am literate and well spoken and I'm also human so I'm bound to get it wrong sometimes.

Any who, my qualm today I guess is what this world deems as attractive. I sometimes wish everyone would wake the hell up! Literally- including myself. The constant brainwashing in media and retail is shocking. One of my lecturers told me once that there is no such thing as conspiracy if the plan is blatantly obvious. You either choose to acknowledge what's going on or you don't... Some people will go crazy with paranoia others will just get high and drunk- ignorance is bliss and all that.

I was having a conversation with my friend the other day about lack of soul in music these days. As I stated above I'm no musician so in relation to the industry these days I guess this makes me more qualified than most to share with you whats hot and what's not.

Music has lost it's soul- and I'm sure there's been plenty of conversations had about this but I thought I'd throw in my 2pennies worth anyway. I actually remember the days when it used to be an art... There was soul, passion and truth and most importantly talent. Regardless of what genre it was- it was organic and unique to every artist. These days this trash gets on my damn nerves. Pure noise and so repetitive it's unreal and that's even before I've listened to the words, and then I try to listen to the lyrics over that annoying melody and realise why it's drowned out. It's sad. I have to admit the most annoying is when I find myself humming away to it whilst bopping my head a couple of hours later- grrrr! Where's all the Lauren Hills at?? 'mixing hip hop with scripture' Jill Scott, even Mariah's gone missing for a minute...? I suppose they got a life...:-)

I'm expected to buy into an artist as a product rather than a musician- no thanks. I feel kind of sorry for them really, all that money and no identity. All that fame and no peace? Yes the fleshy part of me could do with a few thousand thrown my way but really at the cost of my soul?

What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? Matt 16:26

I'm totally baffled the way the world is completely warped and no one bats an eye lid. Everyone's completely comfortable in this hyper reality, in the rat race, chasing the money, it's enough to make me feel claustrophobic in the middle of an empty field. Then we get onto to the real reason I was inspired to write this blog. I met up with an old flame the other day and I was so excited at the way our meeting went. The flesh (a term used for emotions and the human body and its physical or sensual nature as opposed to the soul or spirit related- dictionary.com) was loving it- sparks were flying and all sorts. For a while I glimpsed internal changes- deep ones and it made me really excited (oh naive little me)

When it came down to the crunch he fell so far short I couldn't decide whether I was happy I'd found out now or disappointed at the fact that the things I'd found so unattractive in him were things that could only be turned around by God himself. Looks wise- on point! Swag wise 'ding ding ding' mind, spirit and soul wise... 'Oh Lord why??'

I recall being so angry with God but thankful at the same time. Thankful my mindset had been renewed to a place where all the biceps and bling in the world couldn't do it for me if there was no substantial strength in a man's mind and courage in his heart. When I speak about this strength it takes me back to an amazing book called Captivating- the first passive man was Adam. As if standing there and watching Eve blatantly disobeying his creator isn't bad enough- he had to partake in the act and have the cheek thousands of years later to blame it all on her. How about you be the man??? How about you take authority? How about you use the strength and heart God put in you for once? It talks in the book about how when Eve needed Adam to 'be the man' the most he ducked out and failed miserably - remind you of anyone? And guys wonder why women are the way they are today- secretly or not so secretly they want you to take control- they want you to be the hero, the rescuer, the prince on the white horse, but frankly in this day and age if I didn't know God's promises for me and I was waiting around for that to happen who knows what state I'd end up in.

My friend always takes the mick out of broken girls. Girls that sleep around and who pursue any man that walks by, he makes poems and songs exposing this un natural behaviour. I must admit I'm not all for the way he does it sometimes but it is interesting to see how women have come to the understanding that they must take control because if they don't they'll be left out in the cold- alone, the sad irony is, is the men they're chasing will never take control in the way they need them too- like I said spending all day in the gym training and working on your muscles by no means guarantees a strong mind and courageous and good heart.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder- I suppose my point is is that I'm glad God is working on me. I used to love that repetitive nonsense they called music that had no meaning and lacked heart- I used to also be attracted to the same type of guy who had a weak mind but a winning smile. I guess that's all changing- so where does that leave me in terms of life long companionship - I can answer that R.I.C.H (Resting in Christ's hands)

Yours truly

Love